Either way, I must confess I have never had the stuff but what I am arriving at is that I will be absent for some time due to a family emergency.

Thanks for understanding and stay tuned, like a good guitar.

I have a new page at the top of my blog, ‘At Your Service: Writer For Hire’.

http://lionaroundwriting.com/at-your-service-writer-for-hire/

The link contains the following:

Do you like my writing? I hope so. I can bring creativity and a fine understanding of the English language to whatever project you have in mind from speech writing/ script writing/ news items and all else in-between and beyond.

From an ethical stand point I refuse work related to advertising unless it involves something ethical.

Contact myself here:

lionaroundwriting@scotlandmail.com

or

Twitter: @ lionherewriting

Fees are not fixed and will be negotiated between you and I. Payments can be made through PayPal.

THIS IS NOT click bait. This is what I would tell the doctor if such a condition existed.

“How are you today?” they would say to me as I sat down in their office, having waited for nearly an hour.

In my head I think to myself, that, is the stupidest opener I’ve ever heard in the context of a situation. I would then continue thus:

“Well, not great (muttering obviously at the end of it). I have bad news..”

“Well what is it?” they’d say, aware that there are at least fifteen patients waiting for their time after me.

“No, no, you misunderstand. I have bad news!”

Let me explain! Let me enlighten the illuminated! Let me transfer my thoughts without worrying about Bosman rulings.

To be fair I may have misrepresented what this post is about. It is not an earthquake, ground-breaking in subject matter but I feel it is not discussed enough in these modern times. And ‘modern times’ seems like a slightly empty set of words to use, because if I was writing this in 1678 that would be modern times…I digress.

The news: what is it to you? What value does it hold? Humans, being naturally curious, news represents something we need to know – but there lies the trap! – of all the news you have consumed (I personally eat the Independent, keeping me regular so to speak) what news did you actually need?

The fact that the residents of Okinawa in Japan have longer than average lifespans is interesting. The disappearance of a mammalian species seems sad, but quite inconsequential depending on your shit-giving for things other than us. The banking crisis is worrying, but we don’t feel the direct effects for at least months later. But then, there is the stuff that really hits home whether you want it or not. Dogs that maul children. Paedophiles around every corner. Missing peoples. Murders. These are human interest.

But news channels and sources really like to prey on the wider conflicts, stuff that doesn’t necessarily occur or affect you where you live. Islamic State are coming! Ebola is on its way making for the most paranoid plane journeys ever I’d imagine – people with flu getting persecuted. A hurricane just ripped up a billion dollars worth of damage! We’re in a recession!

Irrespective of the news items, from banal click-bait b.s. on Yahoo! to the BBC, the news they report is only news if it effects you, at least that is my interpretation of newsworthy. If an event occurs, technically that is new, therefore news, but lets disregard the semantics – what we are told is news is in fact the most sensationalist, scary, horrific, tragic, deadly, corrupt, brutal, and unusual events to occur in a recent window of time.

Nobody needs this in their lives on a continual basis if they are fortunate enough not to be involved in the bad news. When have you watched the news and switched the TV off with a smile on your face, feeling uplifted? It doesn’t happen.

Websites are equally as bad, even if you don’t set out to find news, it will find you. You have much more choice in terms of content and you can guide your own browsing, but the saturation of news extends to so many areas that escaping the stress inducing effect of news is a tough task.

What led me to post about this topic was partially inspired by Rolf Dobelli’s article in the Guardian that I stumbled on:

“News is bad for your health. It leads to fear and aggression, and hinders your creativity and ability to think deeply. The solution? Stop consuming it altogether”

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/apr/12/news-is-bad-rolf-dobelli?CMP=share_btn_tw

The article is one of the most honest intelligent assessments of the harmful effects of news I have ever read, with no exaggeration. I will hand pick a few of the most salient points.

Warren Buffett: “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.”

So, even if you do watch/ listen/ read news that is relevant somehow, chances are you won’t even process it in a way that would be beneficial.

“Most news consumers – even if they used to be avid book readers – have lost the ability to absorb lengthy articles or books.”

The above point may not be scientifically proven (yet) but I have experienced this effect of inattentiveness. I’m sure it is widespread. If I play Xbox games, I don’t want to read books. If I watch films or browse the internet a lot, I lose interest in reading. This saddens me.

I didn’t want this post to get too essay like but that is how this puppy evolved.

In conclusion our minds are being bombarded with fragments and shards of stories which tend never to involve us or even people we know and care for. We never feel the actual shrapnel, but we are expected to experience it like we are the ones being reported on: often this means we feel biological changes consciously or otherwise through fear etc.

News permeates daily interactions, it is part of life, but that kind of news is personal, relevant, if not gossip, and has value in that it has some influence on your personal sphere – shape is optional! As Dobelli states if you consume news even periodically (puntentional) then it can easily add up to an hour of your day.

I’ll finish by saying that I’m not averse to news, I love finding out new things, but various atrocities are not something I need to know about or have shoved down my optical nerves daily. I’m not advocating ignorance through abstinence, simply a reductionist approach to finding things out. And with that I will continue my media blackout which I started several days ago – join me if you dare! – because frankly, I’m not sure how relevant One Direction is in the grand scheme of things.

 *I am also aware of the irony of this post, as it is in itself news.

index finger pushing button

AS THE RECENTLY promoted finger raised upwards, it was clearly a good finger. At worst it may have poked someone or been up a nostril.

Generally, your run of the mill index finger living an average life, knowing its place and getting on exceptionally well with the rest of the digits. It was perhaps a little touchy, but then all fingers are with everything being so close to the knuckle.

Raised and ready to leave a fingerprint the finger moved toward a button on a console, which lay seductively under a plastic flap to prevent it being accidentally pushed.

Through headphones the owner received instructions to fire, which were relayed then confirmed.

The flap was deftly flicked back. And there it was. A red button – begging in an anti-Prozac way – to be depressed.

Duly, with little hesitancy the finger hovered momentarily, then with a disappointing silence down it went. No sound effect. No click. Nothing.

On a monitor a timer  began. After 14.6 seconds an explosion could be seen on screen. Grey clouds of debris puffed outwards, as if the buildings, including a school, had just coughed after trying their first cigarette.

Twenty six dead. An entire generation gone. Ten kids obliterated. Nine women and seven men. Bodies that would never find their ways into a coffin.

Four of the fingers began to distance themselves (as much as fingers can) from their old friend, Index, who unknown to most, was now a mass murderer. Unfortunately, the host had simply carried out his orders; unquestioning and obedient. He never saw the face of his victims, never knew the names – so how could it possibly haunt him like it would if he shot or stabbed them one by one?

 

gladiator juaquin phoenix bad review thumbs down

FROM THE DIRECTOR of ‘Absolute’ and ‘Garbage’

(Somehow the guy got funding after two cinematic abominations)

comes ‘Only’ based on real events.

(Loosely based on something that vaguely happened)

((Any semblance of the ‘real’ story will not be found in this motion picture))

(((The scriptwriter used one plot device and carelessly, without intelligence lets you know the ending in the first ten minutes, or 45 if you include the adverts beforehand)))

***** ‘Gripping, will leave you breathless’ – Daily Liar Ben Rivers

(If I don’t give it ***** the editor will kill me, he has a big spread on the lead actress next week)

((I fucking hated this trash and wouldn’t even give it one star. The only likeable aspect is the ratio…and short run time))

(((DO NOT spend any money on this nonsensical schlock – download and distribute it illegally – I beg you!)))

**** ‘Mesmerising’ – Sunday Reflection Tony Sellers

(Guaranteed clean sweep at the Razzies, the name of one of the characters is the only thing Oscar related)

((I’m sick of lying about films and what I really think of them. I’d lose my job if I was honest))

(((You’ll find more intricate plot twists in Vine videos, and better direction)))

**** – ‘Leaves you wanting more’ – Full Film Anita Wenning

(Loved it! I could read a magazine, play on my tablet and still keep track of the story)

((Some total hunks involved, Luke Waddington is amazing))

(((Ok, this was total trash, but I know people who know people and if I give a film less than four stars I won’t get any big interviews, I’ll be blacklisted ending my social climbing)))

((((Honestly? I heard this was terrible, I actually never even watched it apart from a two minute trailer))))

We break things
To fix them
Inanimate or biological
Objects, hearts and minds

With
Super glue for the soul
We tape over the hole
That we left in others
Because we were not whole.

cracked screen

   THERE’S A LOT of men out there, but there’s more boys,
who never gave up childhood, just bought more toys,
cars they can drive, the latest phone and Xbox live,
safe in the knowledge, that being a kid isn’t hard to survive,
when Daddy never, gave you the tools to utilise all the dreams you harboured inside,
got your ticket stamped but it’s been a fatherless ride,
just a scared kid playing hide n’ seek, your being a place for darkness to hide,
it’s so plain to see if you look at the right parts of the eyes,
cos’ the parents only raised glasses before divorcing each other – you – left startled and surprised,
the fights together or seperate love, which is best it’s hard to decide,
& through an act of rebellion you got a tattoo carved in your side,
didn’t mean much, it’s just to distract attention from the scars in your mind,
if the futures bright, the futures orange, let experience harden your rind,
but fuck it, it’s all T.V role models, Robert De Niro’s for heroes, go Scarface and snort lines,
off the silver screen, till you’re blind and cavorting with nines,
at least then you’ll have an aim in life,
instead of your father, it’s an army General makin sure you’re aimin it right.

Are you? – aiming it right?

*Forgive me I left the radio on..
I just let the stereo type, stereotype, stere otype, stereoootype..*

http://cache.vevo.com/assets/html/embed.html?video=USUV71402764&autoplay=0

   THE RAP/ HIPHOP scene got stale and I haven’t been excited to listen to much of it in the best part of a decade until this cypher from Shady Records.

Eminem has been hit and miss with his recent album releases. Relapse was clearly an attempt to rap out of the funk that he was in, things got a little better on Recovery, but really, the Slim Shady that released The Marshall Mathers LP was no longer.

But with time Eminem has returned to some semblance of his former self – Bad Meets Evil with Royce Da 5’9 is great and The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was a real sign that he could nail some tracks on a commercial release again. Clearly, maintaining the hunger and desire of a pre-fame artist is incredibly difficult. You have money, notoriety, platinum albums, respect and life gets easy, in a sense. Naturally a persons mindset changes with these accolades and fortune so the lack of quality in music has some reason behind it at least.

With that in mind, check out the video above, The Shady Records CXVHPER which includes a whole cast of Interscope artists rapping without beats in a really cool video format, giving them all an opportunity to drop some nice lyrics. There’s Joe Budden, Royce and all the rest, it’s poetry. Enjoy.

Video  —  Posted: November 21, 2014 in Have I Got News For You? - Well Do I?
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

x factor simon cowell horrific garbage

I wrote this at least five years ago, but I feel it is still relevant. The rhyme scheme is a bit bananas its more of a rap/poetry jam from my angry younger mind.

Every time I see Simon Cowell,
my face changes, and rearranges into a scowl,
vomit in my mouth, sick from the bowels
I want to play Rude Countdown,
it’s clearly a two letter word, something, ‘off’
an F, C & K, I think you can think of the vowel…
I’ll write Simon 7 letters, cos his output is humdrum and this is a bit of a conundrum
I’ll get Dirty Sanchez to ‘nap him and televise him and Louis Walsh playin’ bumdrum.

Single handedly ruining the industry, but i’m wrong, you choose it
you watch the shows, see the tunes in the shops and buy that music,
he’s nearly a billionaire off the poor cover versions on the radio that fill the air
trouble is that fuckers gonna still be here n’ there, when he’s got silver hair!

Now look at the back catalogue:
Gareth Gates, big for a year then it all started to stutter
Will Young, at least he can sing…
Michelle McManus, would have dissapeared off the map if she wasn’t so fat
…and then there was who?
Kelly Clarkson, stateside, and yeah I’m still laughing
…my memory has kindly blanked out all those in between then and now
That Scottish guy, who wasn’t really an answer more of a, why?
Leona Lewis, yeah I have to admit she’s got what it takes, but if she’d never been on the show she’d have gotten the breaks
Alexandra Burke, average pop minstrel, give her a few years she’ll be looking for work
Daniel McElderry, all I have to say is, RATM, and how annoying are you? very
Well I almost forgot Girls Allowed, that ginger bird nearly ruined it for all of them.

Shut this shit down!
The best albums I have, are all people that had, the hunger cos they wanted it bad
And it shows in the quality of the tunes, they weren’t constructed in a lab
or churned out in boxes and wrapped in clear plastic erupting from bags
something smells funny about all these imposters, they got that brand new shiny feel
don’t write their own shit, do more covers than a karaoke veteran, while blind to the real
one things for sure, it’s gonna have one hell of a job, if time can heal.

The only justice in all this, is if Simon Cowell was forced to live in a padded (or paddy?) cell with John and Edward or Jedward, for the rest of his days as they play the Ghostbusters theme song repeatedly, using crudely shaped hair brushes constructed from Cowell’s ego for mics.

P.S. to those who say his trousers are too high, let them rise!. Please, leave the man alone, they should clearly be around his neck, with someone tightening the belt..