Courtesy Car – Rash Fiction


‘I’ll think about it.’ Automatically his hand was outstretched, ready to grip mine. It felt big and insincere, with all the friendliness of shaking a Grizzlies paw.

As I left the car dealer clutching his leather clipboard, to get to my not unimpressive car, I heard him mutter, ‘Fucking time waster..’

Usually these things, you let them go. To react everytime would be to have a life of daily battles beyond the standard bollocks we all face. Nobody needs it, so we slap people, mostly punch people in our minds, or maybe just say what we would have said very, very silently, spelling out the words with a silent tongue and closed mouth.

As I turned around he was walking away between two shining motors. I looked at the back of his standard-stock car dealer rippled bald head receiving a concentrated dose of sunshine as he slowly headed back inside before saying, ‘Despite the fact this is the only Maserati dealership in this country, I won’t be back.’

Caught by surprise he turned around in episodes, first a crane of the neck before facing me. A sideways glance to the side, an admission of guilt.
‘Sorry mister..’ He’d already forgotten my name.

‘Yeah, yeah. No amount of words will win back my custom.’

His face took on a sullen look as the facial muscles tensed.
‘Well, I’m sorry you heard that..’

‘But you’re not sorry you said it?’ I smiled as I fidgeted with my not unimpressive car keys.

‘See the trunk of my car?’
He looked.
‘There’s 60 grand in there. That’s right. Cash. dont go getting a semi over it. The funny thing is, I’m liking the look of the classic yellow Lambo next door, the one getting a good wash right now.’

Still he stood there, periodically chewing gum like a cow on cud. The face didn’t show it but I saw his eyes dull in an instant as he pictured sixty k, in notes, in a briefcase, in the boot.

‘Work on the people skills. At your age that investment might not be enough to earn back sixty g’s though. Ah well. Shame.’

I left him standing still and heard him spit the gum out as I turned away and remotely unlocked my car.

Did I buy the Lambo? I took it for a test drive making sure the Maserati dealership was watching. I didn’t buy it, but made sure as hell that it looked like it. The kicker is I was going to buy the Maserati after going away for a think on which colour to get. Three words cost him 60 g’s, and me 4.5 litres. Luckily for me those horses come with different badges. Manners don’t cost a thing? – well they cost him half a house.

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