LionAroundWriting33 Comments on Café Blank – SHORT STORY

Café Blank – SHORT STORY

Woman-with-a-black-hat-and-red-lip-in-a-shadow youqueen dot com

…HER FACE WAS a blank page; impossible to read anything in to. She, no more wanton of a reader than I was to create new stories with her or on her. Everyone has a story, but that old saying presumes the owner wants to tell it.
So aloof, so majestic, even her cover offered few clues as to the contents for me to judge. Usually I had ascribed a lazy script of fictitious background stories by this stage, but the three espresso cups that lay empty, may as well have contained water, and the cigarillo was burning without being smoked, as I tried to figure out the life of a damsel in the blueish wisps, temporarily lost, entranced in the trails that shifted so naturally in their heavenly ascent.
Oww! I burnt my smoking fingers, hastily stubbing the cigarillo out.

She looked over, more under, the brim of her broad black hat. Shadows conspired against me, only a neat chin showed itself, temporarily lit. A chin wasn’t much to go on. And my mind was still distracted by the melting skin of my fingers.
Perhaps she had been eyeing me from the cover of darkness, witnessing every inquisitive glance in her direction. A mutual interest? But granted there was nothing else to look at in the narrow café and its mottled glass only served a view of buildings, cutting off the pedestrians outside.

Sheepish, but gentlemanly, aware of her eyes, whatever colour they may be, I glanced once more. She was poking about in her handbag on her lap, sifting daintily out of view.
If she was looking for money I could not let her leave without engaging. Every few seconds, I looked, her mystery more intriguing with the vanishing time.
Confident the hat hid me, I watched as she counted out money. Then she took a tortoise shell pen and started scribbling on the back of a receipt.

She returned the pen to the open mouth of the bag and clasped it shut, rising imperiously, somehow managing to conceal her face, so acutely aware of her angles, I suspected she had experience as a geometric model. If such work existed.
As naturally as cigarillo smoke, she walked the floor, passing me by, as I peered into the shadows catching not even a sparkle of her soul, the windows wearing shutters.

I slammed my fist in frustration on the table, in synchrony with the café door closing on her, preventing a cup falling to its shattered white demise.
Wait! That wasn’t there before! I picked it up, marvelling at it. Somehow she had turned a receipt into a work of origami. I smiled at her secretive ways. ‘Open’ said the green ink.
Excitedly I picked the paper apart.
“2moro. Here. 2pm. I know you are as well.”
I am what as well? Then it hit home. Of course!! The origami was in the shape of a robot.
She had been programmed to love as well!
Never before had a single stream of fluid, flowed from one of my eyes.

33 thoughts on “Café Blank – SHORT STORY”

  1. EdwardHamilton March 11, 2016 — 8:12 PM

    Very nicely done! Clever too. Good read.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Anita Cooper March 6, 2016 — 2:22 PM

    Very clever. Do you know of the website gardengnomepublishing.com? Allen Taylor is the editor – this story fits with what he publishes very well.

    Loved the story – great twist.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 6, 2016 — 3:09 PM

      Thanks for the tip! And for your kind words 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  3. Don Massenzio March 6, 2016 — 2:17 PM

    Nice Raymond Chandler opening.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 6, 2016 — 3:08 PM

      Cool! I’ll take that although i’ve yet to read any of his work.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Don Massenzio March 6, 2016 — 3:09 PM

        He was famous for saying things like, “She had a face that looked beautiful from 30 feet away, but not at close range.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. (Post author)
        LionAroundWriting March 6, 2016 — 3:10 PM

        Sounds good. Is there a short story collection you’d recommend?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Chris Ekong March 6, 2016 — 8:25 AM

    Such an amazing story. Keep it up 🙂

    Like

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  5. brokebella March 6, 2016 — 8:04 AM

    I absolutely love your posts and look forward to them when I have free time to sit and read. As a result I thought it was only fitting to nominate you for the Liebster Award. Please find the details here:
    https://brokebella.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/liebster-award/

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 6, 2016 — 6:26 PM

      I appreciate the nod but I don’t do the awards stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. SyedaFR March 6, 2016 — 5:00 AM

    As amazing as ever! I wasn’t prepared for the end, and it was just a perfect blow for me. I must say, I love reading your words.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. SyedaFR March 6, 2016 — 3:53 PM

        Pleasure’s all mine. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. aspiringwriter22 March 6, 2016 — 4:17 AM

    Your stories are always so good.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Mary Cathleen Clark March 5, 2016 — 10:59 PM

    I didn’t see the end coming until it smacked me upside the head! What a glorious twist–which by the way, you do so well. And I agree with Richard above–your descriptive passages gives enough info to let the reader fill in the rest, no info dump. It’s a narrow line to walk.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 5, 2016 — 11:09 PM

      🙂
      Haha.I didn’t realise I was on a tight rope!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Mary Cathleen Clark March 6, 2016 — 1:13 AM

        Then it comes naturally to you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. iamsweetanne March 5, 2016 — 10:03 PM

    this is indeed beautiful and i was hooked on this. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. iamsweetanne March 5, 2016 — 10:23 PM

        the pleasure is mine. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Sharron March 5, 2016 — 9:06 PM

    Ingenious. I was wondering if she was real and then … Boom changed it up for surprise ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 5, 2016 — 9:10 PM

      Thanks for reading as always 🙂
      You know I can’t not put a twist in!

      Like

      Reply
  11. Richard P March 5, 2016 — 8:21 PM

    That’s amazing. I didn’t expect it to go the way it did there at the end and the surprise made me enjoy the story more. Another great read.

    I must say, though, that what I enjoy about your style is how you mix in your descriptions of the characters and their surroundings in a way that isn’t bluntly there but isn’t missing entirely. I enjoy that more than standard descriptive styles.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 5, 2016 — 8:29 PM

      Thanks a lot man.
      Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
      Thanks for the feedback on my style, i dont get many of those. I’m not sure if its conscious or not but I try and present the necessities to the scenes without being too frugal or overly descriptive.
      I really appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Richard P March 5, 2016 — 8:33 PM

        Well after having read a few of your post by now I have gain a bit of insight into how you write so I thought it would be nice to give some feedback on more than just the post itself. Can’t wait to see more

        Liked by 1 person

  12. busymindthinking March 5, 2016 — 8:16 PM

    Wow! You’ve outdone yourself, again!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting March 5, 2016 — 8:30 PM

      Thanks busymind! seems like we’re both doing it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. busymindthinking March 5, 2016 — 8:51 PM

        Happy blush of gratitude!

        Liked by 1 person

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