Only The Desperate – SHORT STORY

    

      THEY NODDED. “Yeah, like liposuction for the brain.”
As if, it were as normal as brushing teeth, of judging every single person you walk past on the street, as normal as coming early and arriving late, routine everyday occurences – you know.
“And how much does it cost?” I asked, flipping through the brochure, all marketing jargon, pumped off its own juice, before and afters, sad to happy, radiant bleached teeth and a dose of confidence in itself that if it were to manifest in an individual would send them manic for psychiatric evaluation.
“You need to book a consultation with Dr. Plantowicz.” Despite the fact we were stood at a nightclub bar, my four beers and six tequilas – including the worm pickled in agave – weren’t sure whether to be impressed or impressed.

‘You only use 10% of the brain. Through brain reduction Dr. Plantowicz, can improve your life with one simple procedure. By reducing primitive archaic areas of the brain, studies have shown that the outter cortex and prefrontal lobes increase in performance. Clinical studies show Dr. Plantowicz’s patented technique can improve the following faculties:
Memory, speech processing and comprehension, mental alertness, intelligence iq+30 pts, reduced anxiety, elimination of OCD, improved sleep, increased energy levels, weight loss, ambition, confidence, sexual performance, libido, coordination and financial assertiveness.’

As the bass kicked in on a dance number, I experienced that Jurrasic Park moment, seeing the double JD ripple on the perpetually wet black faux granite bar, that should have been coursing down my gullet, instead I was still reading the pamphlet.
‘Do you want to be the person you always thought you could be or wanted to be?’ Of course I wanted to be Michael Jordan. Could Dr. Plantation do that, skin colour and all?

I looked across at the clinical, perfectly shaved guy who gave me the pamphlet, questioning why he chose me to talk to. Was it that obvious my life was below average? Scanning I tried to spot my friends who’d vacated the mirror surround booth, seeing only dimly lit shirts and dresses, all drinking to fuck, us guys so we could activate the dance section of our brains, then the speaking part, and the girls needing it to feel ok about getting slammed by us while delivering vomit tinted kisses: period or not.
A girl walked by looking at me like I shouldn’t be returning her eyes, pulling at the sides of her silver boob tube, eyes wary, judging me, communicating desire, a desire not to interact with me in any way shape or form because she was looking at the pamphlet guy who gave her the once over.

Clearly he’d had the treatment, exuding confidence, a beacon for sexualised girls. Holding my glass, I watched him in a flash of admiration as he looked outwards, back to the bar, surveying the night he seemed to own while I drank to attain the ability to talk to girls more wasted than me.
“Is there a number to call for the consultation?” I asked flipping the pamphlet around unable to see any contacts.
“I know him. Why not get the consultation tonight?” Then he added, “Drink up.”
I didn’t see or taste the white sediment at the bottom of the JD. I did feel more tired…

25 Comments

  1. I liked it that you used a man for the mark instead of a woman, who usually is the one to get “drugged” in a bar. Good work. If only we could get instant brain power. But then everyone would and then we would be back on even ground. Creepy too. 🙂

    1. Yeah a woman seemed a bit predictable. Instant brain power – that would be a dangerous thing indeed.
      Thanks for commenting 🙂
      Btw do you still post on your blog? Most recent I could see was 2014.

      1. Thank goodness you said something. Evidently there is something wrong with a link or how I have been signing in to WordPress and posting remarks to you and probably everyone else. I wonder if it has been going on for the last two years?

        Anyway, I have three blogs. One is my author site. (www.sharrongrodzinsky.wordpress.com), One giving information for friends and families of inmates. (www.prisonchat.wordpress.com. And one for our RV travels (www.vegaswords.wordpress.com)

        What you are seeing is just a few blog comments I made a long time ago. It seems that is a site unto itself, while I obviously forgot about it. I will have to find a way to fix the problem without deleting all the blogs and figure out how a person will be directed to one of the other sites when I comment! Seeing as how I am not the best at computer technology, it may take a bit. ARGHHHHHH!

        But, again my sincere thanks for bringing it to my attention! I am changing my email address below to see if that works.

      2. I did wonder because I went to your blog a few times and saw the 2014 post but I also saw you reblogged sometimes and couldnt see the reblog whicb didnt make sense. I hope you figure it out easily enough 🙂

  2. Creative story and witty writing. It had me anxious to see the twist, and I was not disappointed. I loved the line that made judging every person you walk past in the street an analogy for normal. That made me reflect, feel guilty that you were right, and then feel normal because I knew others found it normal.

  3. Intriguing concept, “liposuction for the brain”. I don’t know which bothers me more: that people like that guy exist with the lying and the manipulating and the drugging, or that people would believe in the benefits of liposuction for the brain…

    Also, is there a typo in this sentence? ~> “Despite the fact we were stood at a nightclub bar, my four beers and six tequilas – including the worm pickled in agave – weren’t sure whether to be impressed or impressed.” The character wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or impressed? It read a little awkward to me, but I’m not sure if that’s due a typo or just my midnight reading troubles lol

    Overall, another well-written story 🙂

    1. Thank you for your feedback jade. And no typo 🙂 i can see how it might not have read well.
      So yeah, if someone offers you lipo for the brain, dont do it. Life lessons in every post 🙂

  4. Yeaaaah… That guy’s not creepy at all… 😀
    😛 Great story. I can see people falling for this. Sounds plausible since most people do think we only use 10% of our brains.

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