THIS POST IS regarding a Yahoo article I happened to spot. Any of you who have looked at the comments section of Youtube, Facebook or similar sites will know the full cross-section of moron that can often be found there on full display, everything from overt racism, homophobia and plenty others. Why people think it is acceptable in an internet comment box I’ll never know.
So the article in question is about smacking children and how it is not illegal in UK but is in many countries as it rightly should be not that that stops terrible parents from implementing it to ‘control’ their children because they are incapable of actually being parents. Any parent hellbent on control is a tragedy in the making, but I digress.
I cherry picked some of the comments regarding smacking children. *BEWARE* Presence of moron is strong:
Anyone too lazy to discipline their child without resorting to violence is unfit to be a parent.
The sensible. Agreed 100%.
Of course smacking doesn’t work. The only lesson child learns is to hit others when angry and that it is normal, because the mother/father behaves this way. Plus it teaches child to be afraid, so why do parents want their children to be afraid of them? Being able to trust your parents and discuss the problems when they arise is a better solution.
The sensible. Agreed 100%. But where are the idiots?…oh wait, see below.
If we aren’t allowed to discipline our own children AT ALL, then, it’s only right the government pays the price for when children run wild. These laws breed a culture of children knowing they’re untouchable and many in their early teens even know they can’t be jailed. Enough is enough. I opt-out of these laws governing how my children should be disciplined. I will fairly discipline my children how I please in the appropriate manner, whether that is to stop my children endangering themselves or being naughty in general.
Ah there we go. I wouldn’t want to be Karl’s child(ren). This notion that children run wild unless smacked and or beaten is only expressed by god awful parents. Sounds like the sort of parent who treats children as possessions to be controlled rather than young lives to be encouraged and instilled with confidence so they can be independent.
being smacked as a child did me no harm at all. love, harry the axe murderer, cell 22 parkhurst.
Nice to see some humour.
But the classic it happened to me argument is used frequently. The ‘I haven’t turned into a serial killer, terrorist or sexual predator, therefore smacking or beatings are fine’. Zero logic.
I think it should be mandatory that these naughty little ftards get a damn good slap round the head when they don’t behave.
Classic. Flippant, perhaps joking, likely not, who knows. But moronic? Yes.
It’s because of all these bloody imigrants taking the whole thing too far and beat the #$%$ out of there kids, raping and murdering them, like the animals they are.
The moron needle just snapped on the detector. Casual, ignorant, racist. Even on this matter somehow the immigrants are at fault. Imagined monologues like this are what I imagine: “They come over here, they take our jobs, they beat our children. Go back to Islamastan! We can smack our kids just fine ourselves! Don’t need a bloody foreigner to do it.”
im grateful for the smacks I used to get as kid it lead me to be a responsible respectful and law-abiding adult. I do not smack my own kids now but im raising then with the same attitude my parents raised me with. and at 14 and 12 my kids aren’t anywhere near as bad as most of their peers. im not saying they are perfect but I will discipline them and come down hard on them if they misbehave.and they respect me and others around them.
Oh yes. The martyr. They got smacked, they haven’t detonated a nuclear bomb etc. Well done. Look at the phrasing: “I’m not saying they are perfect…” In other words it’s crucial to this awful parent that how people perceive their offspring is more important than how the children feel themselves.
“I will discipline them” – this isn’t the 1800’s and Queen Victoria is dead.
They use the argument that physical force against their own children leads to respect. No it doesn’t. Never has never will. It leads to people who cow tow to authority. And nobody is respected for physical abuse except for boxers. Note the fact they agree to punch each other (often for money).
What are your thoughts?
LionAroundWriting 
My husband and I have had a few conversations about this. I was raised in an African household where beating/hitting/smacking your child is an acceptable form of punishment. Although I was only hit twice in childhood (once on the hand for skipping school, once on the bum when my dad thought I ran away – perfect thing to come home to, right?), I knew doing something “bad enough” could result in much harsher physical punishment. My husband was raised with parents who never hit him.
Up until recently I considered a smack on the hand or bum to be fine as a form of discipline, but never beatings on the face or with tools (Africans are notorious for getting creative with sticks off trees and belts). But after talking about it with my husband and seeing neither of us needed to be hit to learn the difference between right and wrong, there is no reason to do it to any children we may have. Parents hit their kids do so thinking they’ll gain control over their child, but that is exactly when they lose control. They lose control, don’t know how to deal with their own young child logically, so resort to instilling physical pain on them. This does nothing but make the child fear you, resort to doing things behind your back, and gives the illusion that hitting others is an acceptable way to communicate frustration and anger. Obvious it isn’t. But, when I see people arguing for hitting their children I can’t judge their rationale; opinions on this are always based on an individual’s upbringing and perspective which is quite hard to shake off.
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Yes! Great comment, especially about the part of losing control, that’s a really pertient point.
Also I’m aware culturally there are huge differences in handling children, and sadly societal norms like hitting kids and administering beatings are one of them but poor parenting exists wherever there are parents.
It’s interesting that we are in the 21st century and yet people still resort to violence, not just with children. People are still so archaic in many ways despite all of the knowledge at peoples finger tips, but parents don’t like taking advice or asking for it – I think that possessiveness is damaging – children are not possessions and when they are treated like one that’s an ugly road waiting to be travelled.
Thanks for your insight DOR.
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I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with ‘smacking’.
It must be done appropriately, so you don’t rupture something and they fart in your face.
Literally and metaphorically.
Like all learning, there is a carrot and there is a stick approach. A child needs to know what behaviour is rewarded and which is punished.
Focusing purely on rewards has the downside of creating a sense of entitlement, likewise punishment has the same issues (but affects emotional intelligence to a larger degree).
Sometimes though, children don’t respond to more modern ‘appropiate’ punishment, like say, standing in the corner. Sometimes you have to go that step further, and keeping them outside in the rain. Except that constitutes child abuse. So does locking them in the garage for five minutes with the lights off. In Australia, smacking is wrong too.
With punishments, the state certainly limits the actions you can take to punish. Pretty soon I think, we’ll be left with almost nothing but with-holding cake (or sending them to the corner).
I’m not against spanking, but strength has to be proportional and the child has to be aware of what they’ve done.
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Certainly if a child receives some light spanks when they are at the age of being incommunicado, it probably won’t affect them in any great way. But alot of parents who hit kids at that age will continue to do so, it’s not a good habit to be in.
There are so many psychological techniques people can use with a child that are non-physical but parents generally hate to deviate from ‘their way’ of raising their kid(s).
” the child has to be aware of what they’ve done.” – That’s a major point. If punishment is given without reason (and logical reason, not irrational crazy parent ‘reason’) it is alienating and confusing, highly damaging if repeated over and over. Also intervention should be immediate, the further in time from the incident the less effect punishment will have.
Punishment should fit the crime, but I’ve never known a kid to do anything worthy of anything extreme in my life.
Thanks for your thoughts on this Nam.
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I got “smacked” as a kid – parents did it (rarely); schoolteachers did it (also rarely but with a piece of leather). Did it do me any harm? I don’t think so, but you never know. We’re not talking about beatings here but about gentle reminders that certain actions aren’t acceptable: a slap on the back of the leg, or the bottom; a tap on the hand. Verbal disciplining was much worse.
That said, I think on balance that “smacking” is probably a bad thing. It’s not the gentle discipline that’s the problem but the message that “smacking’s OK” sends out to the ‘morons’. And we see the moronic interpretation in court cases every other day.
“I didn’t mean to kill my baby. It wasn’t murder.” IT WAS!
“She was crying and I just had to shut her up.” YOU DIDN’T. BABY’S CRY.
“I was smashed.” NO EXCUSE. IT WAS STILL MURDER.
etc etc etc
I’m sure you get my point.
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There is definitely a generational thing with it, like schools administering punishment.
Physical punishment is horrific in the context of the home and equally terrible if done by someone else. Physical punishment teaches children that they are inferior to adults and should be scared of them.
Parents who OK a teacher or other person to hit their kid clearly dont care about their child.
And verbal abuse is even worse in the long term and thats a whole other can of worms. But often the two go hand in hand, a double whammy.
I think many parents never even stop to question if they are fit to raise children in the first place, the beginning of many problems.
Thanks for your input.
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Beating a child and giving little swats are two different things…comparing apples and oranges. Small children cannot be reasoned with; they lack the mental capacity to understand inappropriate behavior. Sometimes, a swat or two (with a hand only) on their little behind is the only thing that gets through–Mommy says no, I do it anyway=swats. Getting one’s child to mind can mean the difference between life and death; when Mommy yells stop, I stop, I don’t run out into the street. And allowing them to have temper tantrums turns them into older children, then teenagers, then adults who cannot control their own anger. Not good for society, not good for the person trying to fit in who has been allowed their whole life to do as they please. Not all small children require a little physical punishment, but some do. Each child had to be evaluated on what works, and proceed from there. Bear in mind, I have referenced SMALL children here. If you as a parent haven’t learned to curb their bad behavior by the time they start school, you have probably already failed.
I’ll get off my my soap-box now, 🙂
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I disagree. There are a range of tools we can use to illustrate to children when the language barrier is still up from tone of voice, to mimicry etc.
Temper tantrums are natural, but if they are continual then there is clearly some major issue gone unaddressed and speaks of a myriad of issues and deficiencies on a parents behalf. Bar some genetic anomalies no child is born bad – but parents generally will deflect all arrows fired at them, like behavioural issues are not their fault. I think few parents actually realise the power they have with a young life or lives in their hands and the long term implications of early life experiences up until 7-8 when the brain is going through rapid development.
In simple terms kids are like computers, input/ output and that is all in the control, under the umbrella of parents and how they act around them, what environments they impose.
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I guess we will have to agree to disagree. 🙂
I have a grown son who received a few swats when a small one, and he is a fantastic adult with children of his own. Do you have children, Lion?
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🙂
Not that I know of lol
Who knows, maybe in the future.
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Lol…hopefully, none slipped by you. 😀
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I shut down my facebook long ago to get away from these kind of idiots.
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And on the topic of facebook, thats no loss, especially in terms of blogging, doesnt seem to be of much help.
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Not at all.
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I would never tell another parent how to raise their child. It is theirs to raise. No one else is going to be standing in front of the judge when things go wrong. No one else is going to get that call in the middle of the night when things go wrong. No one else is going to pay for the funeral if things go horribly wrong. Get control and raise the child to be a responsible adult. Under no circumstances do you ever listen to all the noise of others telling you how to raise your child.
Tim
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I disagree.
Every parent thinks they know best. From what I have seen few do. But the reaction to intervening is incredible, like poking a hornets nest. That arrogance by all parents that they are doing what is right is why so many go unquestioned and parenting evolves slower than rock formations.
As for the child being someones to raise, sure, but again there are so many bad parents if not incredibly naive ones that no parent knows entirely how to do a good job.
Its easy to forget that what happens in childhood will largely dictate how a child turns out as an adult, how they will effect society.
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monkey agree with disagreement of lionaroundwriting. monkey see too many to count clueless parent mishandle children creature in supermarket & bus & jet airplane & mall & park & etc etc etc. when monkey see clueless parent give up control monkey see little tyrant in the making. or worse.
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monkey have opinion that parent what know how channel urge & inclination of child creature with firmness & consistentness & fairness have good chance of manufacture decent adult. Man & Lady tell monkey it = 100 % important for parent know how divert child creature into do what parent want. here example. it not good for parent say to child “would you like to clean up now.” it 100 % better for say “would you like to take a bath or have a shower now.” that just 1 example of many 1000s. child creature think it have control but adult parent really control. simple tactic need go into practice with consistentness as soon as child creature understand language. Man & Lady have many tip like that. without smack son around when he little they make grown up son who = kind & moral & successful in life.
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Sock monkey = very wise.
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Physical punishment….I got smacked as a kid, didn’t bring my dad and I closer. I guess I was a little less naughty than I would have been. Do I hit my kid? No. She’s much naughtier than I was at her age, and yes, kids try your patience, but I’ve never hit her. I have been able to manage without that, but I still can’t bring myself to make a blanket statement banning at altogether.
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In some respects banning it doesnt do anything anyway. Kids get smacked behind closed doors mostly anyway, and so called parents will do what they want.
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You’re right, but the principle behind banning it is something I can’t completely reconcile to. The idea that we can make a blanket statement like that goes against my “scientific-ised” brain….:)
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I was spanked and I turned out awful. I don’t spank the child I care for and he’s as sweet as can be.
So there you go
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☺
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