LionAroundWriting39 Comments on Be Careful What You Type – SHORT STORY

Be Careful What You Type – SHORT STORY

hitman wetherby emericks

I’D DONE MY stretches. The steam curled away from the coffee’s dark surface, next to my laptop—I was ready to write!..

……Wetherby Emericks, was a man not to be messed with on any day of the week. A man so sure of himself, so in command, that he managed to retain the same three day old stubble over a five year period, just the way he liked it. It didn’t dare grow another millimetre. Standing over six foot tall and two hundred pounds dead, he favoured a trilby and cream rain jacket, collar up naturally, along with dark cotton trousers finished with the shiniest shoes in town. Same outfit everyday. Wetherby didn’t like change, but that wasn’t to say he couldn’t adapt. Wearing the same outfit meant one less thing to give him a headache.

Sitting in the corner of a coffee house his hands straightened out a creased piece of paper. Of course. Jenny. Even her drunken handwriting was nearly as beautiful as she was. Luckily Wetherby hadn’t had to kill her. She knew nothing, although the same couldn’t be said of her carnal knowledge.

I took a swig of coffee, pleased with what I’d written. I’d been toying with it for awhile and decided I’d put my name into the story in a spell of egomania. The keyboard awaited..

Taking a gulp of the scalding Guatemalan brew, Wetherby savoured the taste, then pulled out another piece of paper, a list with three names left on it, the rest dealt with, clean and efficient. Being a man of the shadows Wetherby considered the dark arts to be a dying practice. Why use guns and knives when a hammer will suffice? Simple. If you can keep it simple.

The waitresses were giving him the eyes and not just for tips. One of the downfalls of being so handsome was even the second rate floozies wanted some, like they had a chance. Draining the last dregs Wetherby stood up, letting a tenner fall to the table, and walked outside double checking the name at the top of the list, reassuringly feeling the hammer under his coat.

Wetherby walked with purpose down the busy pavement, hat point downwards, people giving him the space he deserved. All that was missing was puffs of smoke, but he’d given that up for good. Intimidation and smashing hands was the new addiction, a replacement of sorts, and at least it paid.

I sat back reading over what I’d written, my abandoned coffee now unpleasantly cold..

The doorbell rang and reluctantly I left the screen. I was expecting a parcel. Opening the front door ready to sign for it I was greeted by a gruff voice on the steps below.
“Connor Macdonald?” He was a big guy, in a cream coat and trilby, hands stuffed in the coat pockets.
Terrified, I instinctively ran inside as he gave chase, only one thing on my mind as I tore through to my office, his footsteps mirroring my own. I dared glance back just as I reached my computer. His strong hand grabbed my shirt, yanking me backwards just as I my finger reached the delete button, holding it down, his breathing heavy behind me.
As suddenly as it had occured, it was over. Panting with relief I looked around me. Not a trace of Emericks. Or of my story.

Connor Macdonald never wrote fiction again. In fact, he never wrote another word. Not even a shopping list.

2016 repost

lion around 2

39 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Type – SHORT STORY”

  1. thelonelyauthorblog August 11, 2016 — 4:23 PM

    Great story.

    Do see that “Stranger Than Fiction.” I am certain you will appreciate it.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Opinionated Man August 10, 2016 — 4:22 AM

    I’ll press publish before I answer the door then… lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. diaryofasoulwriter August 10, 2016 — 4:16 AM

    Wow! This story is so engaging. I read it in no time at all. I did not even let my eyes rest once. I am amazed at your writing style. It is vivid and energetic, keeping your readers hooked from line one.

    Also, fantastic use of the italics. It makes the binary narrative easier to grasp.

    The elements you use picturing places and materials are exactly what we need to set a mood.

    In the first few seconds, your piece reminded me of Alex and Emma – a romantic movie about an author and his stenotyper – the mood felt Sin City like somehow. Then it became an altogether different thing – it always does with you 🙂

    Very entertaining read, mister Lion.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 10, 2016 — 2:58 PM

      Wow, thank you for such in depth feedback Hailie.
      Sin City is a good shout, although I didn’t have it in mind (I’ve seen it several times) the noir writing style is very similar to Frank Miller.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. diaryofasoulwriter August 10, 2016 — 3:06 PM

        You are very welcome. It was my pleasure reading you. Definitely,the similarity is obvious.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Fred Rock 715 August 9, 2016 — 2:02 AM

    Fantastic. It’s remarkable what you’re able to accomplish with such an economy of words.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 9, 2016 — 2:22 AM

      Thanks, truly appreciated, cheers for dropping by ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. Miss Gentileschi August 8, 2016 — 12:15 PM

    Awesome! And I liked that Wetherby Emericks character a lot! Maybe you can develope another story just about him?? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 8, 2016 — 4:04 PM

      Yeah he’s one of the more well rounded characters I have created in flash fiction mode, it’s possible. Thanks for that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. aspiringwriter22 August 8, 2016 — 3:25 AM

    What a shame. Making shopping lists are great. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 8, 2016 — 4:07 PM

      I know right, the guys now in some sort of hell lol

      Like

      Reply
      1. aspiringwriter22 August 8, 2016 — 4:08 PM

        I wouldn’t want to be him.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. (Post author)
        LionAroundWriting August 8, 2016 — 4:09 PM

        Luckily he’s fictional and that’s not possible anyway lol Or are we fictional created by someone else? hmm

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Nam H Nguyen August 8, 2016 — 12:17 AM

    Reminds me of a piece I am writing at the moment. Remarkably similar!

    Like

    Reply
  9. magarisa August 7, 2016 — 11:23 PM

    Phew, what a close call! This reminded me of the films Stranger than Fiction (2006) and Ruby Sparks (2012); have you seen either of them? How sad that Connor Macdonald never wrote again. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 7, 2016 — 11:24 PM

      Never heard of either of those but I will have a gander.
      Thanks magarisa once more 😃

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Nik August 7, 2016 — 1:25 PM

    It’s always great fun to play around with the idea of our creations or thoughts coming to life – and you’ve cleared up the mystery as to why the delete key is often bigger than many others on the keyboard…! Enjoyed this – cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Alaska Frank August 7, 2016 — 9:44 AM

    Best short story I’ve read of yours. Brilliant work. Keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. jac forsyth August 7, 2016 — 9:37 AM

    ‘Why use guns and knives when a hammer will suffice?’ Wise words indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. Chris Green August 7, 2016 — 8:12 AM

    Great story, well told, Lion.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Rob Taylor August 7, 2016 — 2:08 AM

    Excellent writing, Fionn. Great fleshing-out of your imagination. The flow really keeps the reader engaged.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 7, 2016 — 2:14 AM

      Thanks Rob, I appreciate your feedback.

      Like

      Reply
  16. thereadingapp August 6, 2016 — 11:08 PM

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  17. VictoryInTrouble August 6, 2016 — 11:05 PM

    Ha, that’s perfect! So clever. I love how you described the guy. So in control his beard wouldn’t even grow. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 6, 2016 — 11:09 PM

      Thanking you VIT ☺
      I was a little proud of that line glad you picked it out.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. VictoryInTrouble August 6, 2016 — 11:16 PM

        It’s an awesome line, you should be proud! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Al Lane August 6, 2016 — 11:03 PM

    I shouldn’t have read this while struggling to write something… now I’m thinking it’s safest to leave it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 6, 2016 — 11:07 PM

      Lol, if your name isnt Connor Macdonald I cannot guarantee it, but I believe you are safe 😃

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Please, type what you think